Who are we really?

So I was thinking about who I am and about my life today. Does anyone really know what they want out of life? I mean, what you want can change in an instant. You can want to be the most successful person in your business one day and meet someone you fall for and that drive for success isn't what it was. You could also lose someone close to you that has died earlier then you expect and everything you thought you wanted isn't what it was anymore. So do we ever really know what we want or do we only know what we want for that time? I'm not sure. I know that when I die I don't want to be remembered for certain things. I want it to be said that I lived life to the fullest, enjoyed ever moment, helped others with their problems, loved, was loved, fun, and so many more things. I don't want to die with a bunch of regrets.
That got me to thinking about who I am. Who am I? Lately that question has bothered me. I don't really know to be honest. I guess I'm like a chameleon. When I'm at home I joke around, have a bad temper, laugh a lot, and love my family. When I'm at church I don't really talk to anyone but the kids in my childrens choir. I do talk to the youth some but don't really get involved with their lives. At school I'm the quiet girl who helps people whenever I can and just hangs out by myself. So you see, I kind of blend in and don't really have a constant in any regard. I don't mean to be like that. It's not like I go to school or church and plan on being the things I listed but it kinda happens. That's what I mean, I don't know who I am. A couple of days ago I thought about dressing slutty or gothic or prepy all the time but decided against it. I think I want to discover who I am my way. There is a lot of pressure about what people should act like in certain settings but I want to be myself in any setting. That's easier said then done I think.
I'm not sure what I should start with first. I think I'm going to start with my clothes. No, I'm not going to choose one category. That's not me. I like to dress in a way that shows what I'm feeling. I want to get tripp pants but no I'm not going fully gothic. I also want to get a tube top and a plaid skirt. The next step will be choosing what's right for me no matter what. See my parents like to control certain parts of my life and so does the rest of my family but I need to start making some decisions on my own. The next step- find my personality. I don't thin I can just go out and discover it in one instance but I think I will start over and see what I do and don't like. That should be interesting enough. Next I think I'll have to work on my planning skills and exercise more. I've gotten lazy lately. Not an easy thing to admit fyi. Anyway that's all I can think of now.
Mom and Cissy are coming back soon. They've been at my grandparents for 3 nights. It's been kinda nice. Dad and me just flow. Mom she likes things done her way. It gets kinda annoying. So I think I'll go and see what I can find to do and work on my plan. Hopefully I can keep my progress posted on here. It sounds like it's going to be easy but now that I think about it it's almost like rebooting a computer. I'm going to have to start from scratch. I think this is going to be fun. Well, until next time I shall bid you adeu. (I think that's how you spell it.)