Sunday, September 7, 2008

Single

Hey, it didn't take me quite as long as last time to write on here. I guess I just need to let some things out but that'll come later. I'm going through a lot of stuff right now and I'm just so confused about a lot of it. I just don't know what to do. I did clear up one issue. I am now single again. I broke up with my boyfriend tonight. I'm not happy about having to do it but I didn't feel like I really could do anything else. I'm not ready for a relationship. To me it feels like God's saying that you're too young to be dating. So, I made a decision! I have decided that I am going to stay single until I turn 18. I've already asked my sister and my best friend Daniel to help. They were like what? It was sort of humerous. I don't know. I feel horrible about breaking up with him because he really was a great guy. Maybe that's why I knew I had to do it. I didn't want to hurt him more then I did. I mean the longer I wait the worse it would get right. I mean if I didn't tell him and he kept liking me or he liked me more then wouldn't it be harder? Or is it just an excuse? I really believe that I'm not suppose to be with him right now. I mean that's not to say that later down the road I wouldn't go out with him. Only if I feel God wants me to. Some people may say that sounds like me just trying to hide behind God but I don't think so. Even people who don't believe in God could feel if they didn't think they were in love. Couldn't they? I think so. Maybe they wouldn't want to believe in love either. I don't know. I have a friend who doesn't believe in God. I wonder if he believes in love. Hmm. I might have to ask him but I'm getting sidetracked. I just needed to think through some of this and typing it down always seems to help me. I don't know though. I think it's just going to take some time to get through this. Who knows? I think I'll get through this. I have some awesome friends. One in particular that knows firsthand about this. He's been really sweet in helping me sort it all out. I couldn't thank him enough.

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